Well, today was my first day back on the ambulance after my leave of absence for having Cooper. I've been gone from it for five months and boy, was it hard to go back. After getting ready for work this morning, I snuggled and held Cooper until the very last minute. It didn't take long for Cody to start sending pictures my way so that was definitely helpful.
The shift itself was fairly uneventful. We didn't get our first call until a few hours into things and all of our calls were pretty straight forward. A good "warm-up" shift. I suppose the break did me some good as I noticed my patience wasn't as short as it used to be. The reality of EMS (Emergency Medical Services) is that people don't always call 911 for what a lot of people would consider an "emergency." We see a lot of people with chronic complaints that probably could have seen a primary family doctor during normal business hours. I've literally had people tell me they just need a ride, I've actually had a real "toe pain" once, and I even had someone tell me they wanted to go to a particular hospital on the other side of town because they just wanted to get closer to that area to get to a family member's house. Needless to say, it doesn't take long before running a lot of those calls wears you down. Inevitably, you're running a call like that when you were in the middle of trying to grab a bite to eat after not eating for seven hours or when you finally had a chance to start walking towards the restroom after running four calls in a row. Obviously, they called 911 for a reason, and your moral and professional obligation is to treat said "emergency" as such. But it's only human to become resentful of those that abuse the 911 system. Our patients today all had legitimate complaints so it was easy to be empathetic with them.
Something that was also helpful were my preceptors. Since I've been gone for so long, I have to be precepted for a few rideouts. The crew I was with today is fantastic. Smart, fun, and pretty easy going. Since I've been doing this for a while already, I kind of have my own way of doing things. It's nice to have a preceptor that doesn't make me change my patterns just for the few rides I'm with them. It makes it really easy to get back into my own groove.
I'm hoping tomorrow's shift will have some excitement. Certainly I do not wish ill upon people. But it is nice to run a "good" call while having the extra set of hands on scene. We did not get to run anyone in "hot" today. (Surprisingly, not everyone gets transported to the hospital with lights and sirens. In fact, I'd venture to say a majority of our patients get transported non emergency. Transport priorities are based off of the patient's status along with a few other factors.) But today we helped a patient with a spider bite (for which she is already being treated), a couple people who had fallen, and a man who complained of having shortness of breath after smoking crack. (Surprising, eh?)
I had spoken with Cody briefly a couple hours before I came home and he said Cooper was not asleep. Part of me got hopeful that I would see him and be able to love on him when I got home. However, of course, about 30 minutes before I got home, Cody told me Cooper had finally fallen asleep. I guess I will have to just peek in on him and kiss his forehead so he knows I'm home with him. I sure will be glad when tomorrow's shift is over and I can spend some time with my mini Coop. But when I am done with work for the week, Cody begins his days on. I miss having my boys together with me. These 12 hour shifts are hard. I feel like the day completely passed me by. I couldn't focus on my family and before I knew it, Cody was telling me he was putting Cooper to sleep; I realized I had missed the day's activities.
Another thing I've realized is my body is not as conditioned for a 12 hours shift as it once was. I am so exhausted it is unreal. My feet are so tired, I can barely keep my eyes open, and my mind is tired. Regardless of what a call actually is, it's physically and mentally exhausting to respond to several emergencies per shift. You never really know what you will see when you get on scene. A sick call can easily turn into a full cardiac arrest. A full arrest may end up being someone taking a nap. But the adrenaline rushes you get when those flashing lights and wailing sirens turn on, will tire your body like nothing else. Going up and down with adrenaline and trying to get yourself in the right frame of mind for each call is exhausting. It has been a long time since I've felt those emotions. It is only magnified by the fact that I haven't done this in a while. I suppose I should be used to exhaustion by now, with a new baby and all. But mental exhaustion feels different than physical exhaustion. I don't know. Perhaps it's all the same, you get SO exhausted it all runs together and it just doesn't matter. You're tired.
With that being said, I think it's time to wrap up this post. I realize it's not my most interesting one, but the previous paragraph explains my reasons for that. I hope you all have a great day tomorrow and thank you for all the encouragement as I return to work. Say a prayer for me tomorrow that I may have a peaceful mind to aid the public and know that my boys are tucked in safely at home. Everyone have a Wonderful Wednesday!
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