Taking Care of Your Own

Similar to my last post I suppose, but yesterday's activities got me thinking.  I had to take a refresher course to renew a PALS certification.  PALS stands for Pediatric Advanced Life Support.  It deals with advanced pediatric assessment, treating abnormal heart rhythms, and other anomalies that are usually rare or unheard of in children.  Either way, it's frightening to think that some children in fact DO have these illnesses. 

In the beginning of the course, we were shown a video in which it showed different children in different stages of distress.  This was to show us signs to recognize if immediate treatment is necesary.  However, I have to say, the images of those poor children hurting or feeling badly just broke my heart.  Of course, it brought to mind Cooper's face and I couldn't wait to get home to snuggle him. 

I suppose this is one of those aspects where I "know too much."  I know the things to watch out for and I know the point where things get tricky.  I also know how children deal with illness differently than adults and how they could be alright one minute and in severe distress the next.  I've been feeling like Cooper has been wheezing the last few days.  Cody thinks I'm just being over-protective and repeatedly tells me Cooper is fine.  So, fast forward to this evening.  I'm chatting with my mother, just catching up on the events of the last couple days, and I tell her how I think Cooper has been wheezing and how I think I should listen to his lungs.  (Weird, perhaps.  But normal in our family).  So mom says, "Well, go listen to him."
I ask, "Well, what would I do if he is wheezing?"

She replies, "What would you do if that were your patient?"  I respond telling her how I would give my patient a breathing treatment.  So she says, "Well, you could give Cooper one."  I then explain how I'm not sure being so young and not having a full assessement by a doctor that perhaps it's the best idea to put medications that stimulate the body into such a young system.  Mom asks again what I would do if I were on a call.  I reiterate that I'd give a breathing treatment.  I realize how inconsistent I sound and then I stop to think....why the discrepancy?  Granted, on a call, I have a cardiac monitor and other tools to support a patient's well-being.  But why do I have such a hard time justifying my own treatment to my own child?  This reiterates my newfound understanding for why parents are so apprehensive to let us take over their children's care.  It's so different to care for your own child.  I don't know why it's easier to walk into a stranger's house and say, "Entrust your child's life to me.  I can help him," instead of saying, "I trust myself to fix my child."  God forbid things ever got really sticky.  I know I could step up.  Reflex takes over and you just do what needs to be done.  So why question my decisions on the smaller stuff?

I wish I could end with some liberating epiphany, but I have none.  That's about where my thoughts stop.  Just a little randomness from my head to yours.  Other than that, things have been about par.  I worked a couple shifts this week which was nice, but it is fantastic to finally be home.  Although, my other duties of laundry-dooer, housekeeper, and financier are kicking in.  But at least it's always "take your kiddo to work" day at those jobs. :)